Archive for the 'SEO Humor' Category
Craigslist seems to be a potpourri of bad SEO’s – take a gander at this advertisement:
Affordable SEO – 1 WEEK TO THE TOP (Toronto and area)
Affordable SEO – 1 WEEK TO THE TOP of major search engines. Stop wasting money on pay per click . Being ranked PR9 will halp you grow your sales at the fraction of the cost you spend now. Contact for more information and prove that we ca do it . Free consultaion and proven results
So I have been looking around to buy some good quality advertising spots to promote this blog and here is an example of what someone was trying to sell me.
“high quality SEO blog”
and his private message to me:
“This is a very exclusive deal and only you and one or two more person will be getting it. The blog is total quality and I am sure you too are aware that its impossible to find good seo ads. The ad from the blog may also give you natural traffic”
and now for the pay-off pitch, here is an exerpt from the first blog post I read on this ‘high’ quality SEO blog:
This is my first post in last 10 days and I felt to write it to tell current subscribers and readers why I am writing so less on the blog.
“The reason is, this blog was started as a blog which can share my SEO knowledge with others as well as to establish nBridges Media as SEO Brand. Now I did got decent success in both but the growth was very slow and because I wasn’t make any money from this blog, it don’t make any sense to spend hours writing content for it. I can ofcourse spend more effort into the site now and make it a premium SEO blog as I have already done the hard work but I feels somehow it don’t align with what I am doing currently and planning to do next in coming 6 months.”
All I can say to this is WoW!
Here we go again…besides the fact that 5000 directory submissions will probably get you banned it seems there is no shortage of folks offering this SEO (Stupid Egghead Option) on DP and we are supposed to believe they are working for $0.50 an hour. I understand that there are some countries around the world where the average hourly salary is quite low but I seriously doubt you are getting many folks using computers for the $0.50 an hour range.
5000 PR 7 – PR 0 Manual Directory Submission $ 38.00 USD {Up to 5 Different Title and Description Acceptable – Time required 2 -10 days}.and they are offering this with up to 5 titles, etc…the length of each manual submission is probably close to a minute a site but when I called them out in the post I said the following:
“Your prices seem quite low but I am curious, if a manual submission takes at least 30 seconds and you do 5,000 of them it will take over 41 hours of work, and you charge $38, so I am to believe you pay your workers less than $1 an hour and there is still money for profit? Please explain and I might give your service a try.”
The reply I got is great, not sure what it means but I know it is GREAT!
“yes, you are right. I am offering dedicated link builders to work on your projects. so they can work efficiently and take care to Google spam penalty. I have sent you PM. Plz check and waiting for your reply.”
I think I will be passing on this service but I can promise you that many fellow DP’ers will be using it.
Most webmasters suck up to Google and Matt Cutts on a regular basis but there are a few out there that voice a negative opinion. www.GoogleSux.com is a pretty funny site. On that topic I did find something interesting, guess who owns the domain: www.GoogleSucks.com?
Google of course!
I got involved in online marketing back in 2000 when I started selling virtual items as a hobby. I started on eBay then moved to PlayerAuctions.com and by 2004 I designed my first website in Frontpage with the flashing page dividers and all, take a peek at it here. I was so happy with it I even ironed on my logo to a few tshirts for myself and my kids.
I followed up with some interesting ideas, including a satire site using celebrity cartoon animations of George W. Bush, Micheal Moore, Martha Stewart and more! At the time I did not really have a business model in mind for my sites, I just wanted to express myself on the web.
A special thanks to Waybackmachine for being around and preserving these memories (because the computers themselves broke down long ago).
well, really bad…
Here is some content I found that was written exclusively for the search engines – it uses the keyword multiple times but sounds absolutely terrible.
The photographs can be something useful in making us able to get the certain memories stay in our mind. Without using the photographs we might not be able to recognize some moments in our life. And this is something that works on people too. It means that through the photographs, we can have someone stays in our memory forever.
There is a very amusing (toungue-in-cheek) article over at SEOMOZ that talks about the different types of clients that SEO’s get. The one that sticks out for me and actually makes me wince is this one:
The BTJ Client (or Bigger Than Jesus) is someone who is obsessed with getting a PR9 or PR10 site, no matter what you tell them or how hard you try to convince them that Page Rank isn’t something they should obsess over.
Client: “I really want us to get a PR10 ranking.”
You: “Um, for your wool socks site?”
Client: “Yes. It can’t be that hard, right? Lots of sites have PR10s, yeah?”
You: “Well, there’s Google.com…”
Client: “Okay, maybe a PR10 is a bit of a lofty goal. How about a PR9? I think we’re PR9 material. Which sites have a PR9?”
You: “Uh, Yahoo.com…”
Been there, heard that!
